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March 16, 2005
Father dear
I was asked, today, why I don't like my dad. To tell you the truth, I have no solid, set-in-concrete reasoning. It's just a vibe, you know. I'm all "I hate you 'cause you're an ass", but there are only flashes of suspicion and memory to inspire my loathing.
For example, I was little, and beat my brother over the head with the vaccuum cleaner - there is a story behind this - I had been made to clean something up that he had done, and he wouldn't go away. To the point: I hit him over the head.
My dad heard my brother crying - I had run outside to hide. He came outside, picked me up by the shirt and pulled me inside. On the way, I met a flywire door.
Throwing me onto the floor, he screamed at me to apologise.
I did.
I gave in to that cunt.
That, I suspect, is the earliest memory I have of truly hating my father. I considered causing his death, after that day. I still do.
Another flash: I have the thought, sometimes, that he cheated on my mother. I have no hard evidence to back this up, but she has hinted at it, i found swinger-emails in his inbox, and he introduced me to Kaz - his current bitch - before he had broken up with my mum.
So I hate the bastard.
When asked why, I simply said: He's an ass.
This is the first time I've actually thought about the reason.
Posted by requiem at March 16, 2005 11:13 PM
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